)
We were all together this weekend at Dh brother's house. Saturday evening we celebrated our youngest nephews 2nd birthday and on Sunday we celebrated our 2 MA nephews summer b-days.
So, on Saturday eve. We were all in the kitchen eating cake and ice cream and my mother in law asks us "any good news" she asks us this whenever she sees us(she and my father in law were the only ones on DH's side of the family that know of our plan to adopt)so I look at her like I can't believe you are asking us this and say "nope", she says "sure there is", DH and I look at each other and say "no", then DH says "we aren't expecting if that is what you mean" and from there, I can't recall who said it, DH, my mother in law or myself, but it was announced that we are adopting. I was shocked at the reaction, there was cheering and we got congratulated by everyone. I was so touched that I almost cried. They were all asking us questions and I could barely talk :O) I never would have thought that they would be so happy for us, very happily surprising.
I have read in my adoption books that just because I am not physically carrying a baby, we are expecting a baby and that we shouldn't miss out on special traditions, like announcing the expected baby or a shower, etc... And they gave me the feeling as if I had just told them that I was pregnant and I can't thank them enough for that moment...I will always remember it fondly. So thank you to Helen, my Mother in law for our special announcement and special moment. I can't wait till the day I can introduce our little one to our entire family.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Names
I found out something recently that I did not know. A lot of times the Bmom names the baby, sometimes you come up with a name she accepts, sometimes you agree on a name and sometimes she allows the Aparents to name the baby.
Well, I am awful about names. I think it is due to being a teacher for so long. There are so many names I just would not want our child to have. I know that if the Bmom names the baby something we can't stand, we can always change it, but then you feel that that was something meaningful and really nice, do you want to mess with that?
I know we don't know what our particular situation will be like, but I love talking names :O)
My favorites since the beginning are:
Girl =
Aleigha (not sure of the spelling I'd like yet)
Aleaha
Aleea
Aleya
Alea
Middle name:
Josi
Ruby
Cate
Theresa (pronounce Ter-a-sa)
Teresa
Boy =
Joel
Tyler
Middle name:
William
Joshua
or William Joshua
Bye!
Well, I am awful about names. I think it is due to being a teacher for so long. There are so many names I just would not want our child to have. I know that if the Bmom names the baby something we can't stand, we can always change it, but then you feel that that was something meaningful and really nice, do you want to mess with that?
I know we don't know what our particular situation will be like, but I love talking names :O)
My favorites since the beginning are:
Girl =
Aleigha (not sure of the spelling I'd like yet)
Aleaha
Aleea
Aleya
Alea
Middle name:
Josi
Ruby
Cate
Theresa (pronounce Ter-a-sa)
Teresa
Boy =
Joel
Tyler
Middle name:
William
Joshua
or William Joshua
Bye!
Better things..........
So, we have (ok, mostly I have)been working in the nursery. Yes, I have allowed myself to really believe that things will come.
We set the crib up (that was fun for the two of us) back at the end of July (26th I believe). I have been washing all the clothing, towels, sheets, wash cloths, bibs, blankets, swaddle me's, sleep sacks, stuffed toys, etc... I have been using this sweet lullaby scented detergent by Method and I LOVE it. It makes everything smell so nice :O) And I am a sucker for scents!
A few months ago I painted some wooden farm animals (2 of each, sheep, pig, cow, duckie, rooster and 1 little piece of white picket fence). I hung them up last night over the closet/shelve area...they look cute!
I haven't yet washed the plastic toys (some from the daycare) or the crib set (will need to take it off some time).
I love how everything looks. I am feeling so many feelings, excitement, anticipation, anxiety, hope, fear, worry and happiness.
In all the adoption books I have read, it says that just because we are adopting shouldn't mean that we have to miss out on all the expectant parent stuff. Therefore I am trying to remind myself (even though we don't have official approval till next month...hopefully). I am believing. I walk into the nursery or I just lay in bed at night and think...Is our little one being created or is he or she already created or will he or she come about many months from now? Wonder!!!
It is all that there is in adoption...wonder and hope.
For some strange reason I always felt that ttc would be a challenge for us, I just always felt that feeling, but with this adoption I have the opposite feeling. I feel it is going to come about quickly. I just feel we will be chosen pretty quickly and then it will be a matter of praying with all our might that we actually become his/her parents without any problems.
We set the crib up (that was fun for the two of us) back at the end of July (26th I believe). I have been washing all the clothing, towels, sheets, wash cloths, bibs, blankets, swaddle me's, sleep sacks, stuffed toys, etc... I have been using this sweet lullaby scented detergent by Method and I LOVE it. It makes everything smell so nice :O) And I am a sucker for scents!
A few months ago I painted some wooden farm animals (2 of each, sheep, pig, cow, duckie, rooster and 1 little piece of white picket fence). I hung them up last night over the closet/shelve area...they look cute!
I haven't yet washed the plastic toys (some from the daycare) or the crib set (will need to take it off some time).
I love how everything looks. I am feeling so many feelings, excitement, anticipation, anxiety, hope, fear, worry and happiness.
In all the adoption books I have read, it says that just because we are adopting shouldn't mean that we have to miss out on all the expectant parent stuff. Therefore I am trying to remind myself (even though we don't have official approval till next month...hopefully). I am believing. I walk into the nursery or I just lay in bed at night and think...Is our little one being created or is he or she already created or will he or she come about many months from now? Wonder!!!
It is all that there is in adoption...wonder and hope.
For some strange reason I always felt that ttc would be a challenge for us, I just always felt that feeling, but with this adoption I have the opposite feeling. I feel it is going to come about quickly. I just feel we will be chosen pretty quickly and then it will be a matter of praying with all our might that we actually become his/her parents without any problems.
Adoption profile book
We got our profile book back from the agency yest. I had left it on Mon. with the sw for her and her co sw to look over. I believe it was the other sw who mailed it back. She reminded me to be sure I used a real photo on the cover and not a photocopied one (no pic on there at this point), she wanted me to put the name of our town, how many people live here and its location to/from Boston. I only had 1 sp. error (now instead of know, duh!) and she wanted me to make sure I added for further info call........... on the very last page. She said Nice Job (underlined, he-he!) for the first time!!! No other notes or changes I guess. Hopefully they liked it and thinks it will "work". I know I am very happy with the results of it :O)
I have been worrying, what if we don't get approved? But I am thinking(hate to say assuming) that with them letting me make a profile book and looking it over (instead of saying why don't you hold onto your profile and we'll look at it after the home visit, etc...)That we will be accepted/approved.
Our sw was a little concerned for us about our income being quite a bit less this year due to Josh's lay off for a few months and for me being per diem for the year, but I explained things to her about how we are planning to do things and that things WILL work. I just have this underlying fear (of course I do, I am Jill) that they will think we can't financially do it or that something will come up from the PEs that we aren't healthy enough, yada yada yada!
I know, stop...I keep telling myself stop it and enjoy it. I think I'd be the same way if I were physically expecting. I'd be a worry wart, that is just how I am.
So, next post onto better things :O)
I have been worrying, what if we don't get approved? But I am thinking(hate to say assuming) that with them letting me make a profile book and looking it over (instead of saying why don't you hold onto your profile and we'll look at it after the home visit, etc...)That we will be accepted/approved.
Our sw was a little concerned for us about our income being quite a bit less this year due to Josh's lay off for a few months and for me being per diem for the year, but I explained things to her about how we are planning to do things and that things WILL work. I just have this underlying fear (of course I do, I am Jill) that they will think we can't financially do it or that something will come up from the PEs that we aren't healthy enough, yada yada yada!
I know, stop...I keep telling myself stop it and enjoy it. I think I'd be the same way if I were physically expecting. I'd be a worry wart, that is just how I am.
So, next post onto better things :O)
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Our individual home studies are done
Well, I did my home study yest. afternoon (1 hr long). Boy, this process can really make you worry. You wonder, what does she think of us? She is a very nice woman, but you don't get any feedback. We talked a little more about facilitators and I also gave her a copy of the profile I made. She and her coworker will read it over and make changes. I really, really like how it turned out so I hope that they are happy with it too. And if any changes, they are minimal.
I received info from 2 other facilitating agencies yest. I am still waiting to speak to the one that the agency recommended to us and the sw said yest. that thinks would be the best one for us. Hopefully she calls me back today so I can obtain some info and get a feel for her.
Our next home study couples meeting is on Mon. August 25th right before our next Aparent class. At this time we will set a date for our home visit...which is the last step in the home study process and after the home visit we will find out if we are approved. Fingers crossed!
We got our fingerprints done this past Sat. Need to get a money order today and mail them off.
Please wish us continued luck in this detailed process and pray with us! Thanks!!
I received info from 2 other facilitating agencies yest. I am still waiting to speak to the one that the agency recommended to us and the sw said yest. that thinks would be the best one for us. Hopefully she calls me back today so I can obtain some info and get a feel for her.
Our next home study couples meeting is on Mon. August 25th right before our next Aparent class. At this time we will set a date for our home visit...which is the last step in the home study process and after the home visit we will find out if we are approved. Fingers crossed!
We got our fingerprints done this past Sat. Need to get a money order today and mail them off.
Please wish us continued luck in this detailed process and pray with us! Thanks!!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Josh's home study is this evening
Josh has his individual home study today at 4 pm. I emailed her our autobiographies on Tuesday am. Hopefully his meeting goes well.
We had our first Aparents class Monday night. It was very interesting and informative (pregnancy and substance abuse).
I borrowed 3 families adoption profiles to look at and get some ideas. I continued working on ours (up till 12:30/1 am the past week and a half or so). I finally finished the rough draft of it this morning. It is 12 pages long. I need to submit it for critiquing to the agency before making copies. I look forward to seeing it all printed out.
We also have a phone consult this afternoon with an adoption facilitator agency that we have been pre-approved by. It is our chance to speak with them and get any questions answered. Then they'll send us paperwork to fill out and pay the one time fee...yikes!
Well, as always wish us luck!
We had our first Aparents class Monday night. It was very interesting and informative (pregnancy and substance abuse).
I borrowed 3 families adoption profiles to look at and get some ideas. I continued working on ours (up till 12:30/1 am the past week and a half or so). I finally finished the rough draft of it this morning. It is 12 pages long. I need to submit it for critiquing to the agency before making copies. I look forward to seeing it all printed out.
We also have a phone consult this afternoon with an adoption facilitator agency that we have been pre-approved by. It is our chance to speak with them and get any questions answered. Then they'll send us paperwork to fill out and pay the one time fee...yikes!
Well, as always wish us luck!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
One home study down, 4 to go
We did it, we had a successful first home study. Our sw is very nice, informative and easy to talk to.
The schedule for our next ones are as follows:
Josh's h. study 7-31-08
My h. study 8-4-08
Our 4th h. study 8-25-08
and at this 4th home study we will schedule our home visit.
We expressed to her our desire to complete the home studies, paperwork, PEs etc...by the beg. of Sept. So we are looking at a possible approval in 9/08. After talking with the sw she stated it did not look like we'd have any problem getting approved. We talked about me having diabetes and all she asked was "how is it going?" So as long as the NP I am seeing for my PE doesn't think anything of it, all should be well with that. I mean come on why would having D keep you from parenting?
We found out from her that there is only about 3-4 adoptions actually from our state each year due to the demographics of either mom's parenting or having abortions.
So we will most likely be ultimately adopting out of state. This holds a big element of surprise...where will we one day be traveling to?
We also found out that we need to network on our own, they do some, but we'd have a better chance at finding a placement if we use the help of a profile service or ultimately a facilitator.
I have been researching these types of options and have narrowed our search down to an adoption center in another state that does networking and outreach all over the US. I filled out an app. online and should hear in 10-14 days or so if we qualify for their services as they usually only take a certain # of families to work with at a time.
The women I spoke with on the phone yest. told me they have more birth mother's then A families right now. She said they state a 3-12 mos wait for placement although most waits for a healthy Caucasian newborn are around 6-14 mos. of course one just can never estimate how long it really will be.
I have to say that adding this service in and obtaining more info from our 1st home study meeting, my head is spinning. There is so much to do and decide on.
We can either do a profile online for of course less $ and see where that takes us or hire a facilitating agency which may speed up the process quite a bit, of course it cost a lot more too and this is my concern. I just want to try and make sure we don't go way over our budget...Yikes!
So we will be figuring things out here for a while.
I need to fill out a financial form for the adoption agency to assess our income/ assets and see if we qualify for reduced fees.
Both Josh and I need to also work on our autobiographies and get them to her by the beg. of next week.
On a happy note, my Dad said yest. "I have a good feeling about this" which makes me feel really happy. He was the first one (besides Josh and I) to think about adoption. Also, I went shopping with my Mom yest. and we happened into Babies R us for outlet covers for our house for our home study and she wanted to pick out a blanket for us to commemorate the begin of our adoption journey. This meant so much to me because I have believed all along, it will happen and having her do that shows me that she now believes too.
GOD please help make all of our dreams for a little one come true.
I can not wait for Josh to become a Daddy, to make my Mom and Dad proud Grandparents, my Grandmother a Great Grandmother again, to make my sister an Aunt again, my Aunt Anne a Great Aunt and of course for me to actually be a Mommy........OMG!!
Please continue to think positive thoughts for us, wish us well and help us pray.
Thank you!
The schedule for our next ones are as follows:
Josh's h. study 7-31-08
My h. study 8-4-08
Our 4th h. study 8-25-08
and at this 4th home study we will schedule our home visit.
We expressed to her our desire to complete the home studies, paperwork, PEs etc...by the beg. of Sept. So we are looking at a possible approval in 9/08. After talking with the sw she stated it did not look like we'd have any problem getting approved. We talked about me having diabetes and all she asked was "how is it going?" So as long as the NP I am seeing for my PE doesn't think anything of it, all should be well with that. I mean come on why would having D keep you from parenting?
We found out from her that there is only about 3-4 adoptions actually from our state each year due to the demographics of either mom's parenting or having abortions.
So we will most likely be ultimately adopting out of state. This holds a big element of surprise...where will we one day be traveling to?
We also found out that we need to network on our own, they do some, but we'd have a better chance at finding a placement if we use the help of a profile service or ultimately a facilitator.
I have been researching these types of options and have narrowed our search down to an adoption center in another state that does networking and outreach all over the US. I filled out an app. online and should hear in 10-14 days or so if we qualify for their services as they usually only take a certain # of families to work with at a time.
The women I spoke with on the phone yest. told me they have more birth mother's then A families right now. She said they state a 3-12 mos wait for placement although most waits for a healthy Caucasian newborn are around 6-14 mos. of course one just can never estimate how long it really will be.
I have to say that adding this service in and obtaining more info from our 1st home study meeting, my head is spinning. There is so much to do and decide on.
We can either do a profile online for of course less $ and see where that takes us or hire a facilitating agency which may speed up the process quite a bit, of course it cost a lot more too and this is my concern. I just want to try and make sure we don't go way over our budget...Yikes!
So we will be figuring things out here for a while.
I need to fill out a financial form for the adoption agency to assess our income/ assets and see if we qualify for reduced fees.
Both Josh and I need to also work on our autobiographies and get them to her by the beg. of next week.
On a happy note, my Dad said yest. "I have a good feeling about this" which makes me feel really happy. He was the first one (besides Josh and I) to think about adoption. Also, I went shopping with my Mom yest. and we happened into Babies R us for outlet covers for our house for our home study and she wanted to pick out a blanket for us to commemorate the begin of our adoption journey. This meant so much to me because I have believed all along, it will happen and having her do that shows me that she now believes too.
GOD please help make all of our dreams for a little one come true.
I can not wait for Josh to become a Daddy, to make my Mom and Dad proud Grandparents, my Grandmother a Great Grandmother again, to make my sister an Aunt again, my Aunt Anne a Great Aunt and of course for me to actually be a Mommy........OMG!!
Please continue to think positive thoughts for us, wish us well and help us pray.
Thank you!
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