2 weeks waiting so far

Who knows how many more there will be. I do wonder???

Haven't done much lately in terms of preparing mostly because almost everything I can do is done, lol!

I do need to put the scented drawer liner in the drawers soon.

Feelings:

I am feeling good, still optimistic. Sometimes I forget we are waiting for "that call", but most of the time I wait and wonder when it will happen. I try and just take each day at a time. I try and tell myself it could take a year or more, but when I start thinking about all that time waiting, it makes me feel awful. I keep praying that our time is sooner rather then later. I take this time planning things in my head, thinking about what we'll do with different situations, each time I go to a store I visit the baby section just to see what they have.
Mom wants to use a coupon I have for $4 of Pampers this week so I think we'll be going to Babies R Us one day this week and she'll be buying us a big box (haven't bought one of these yet) of Pampers size 1's.

Not much more going on.

Would've been due

September 19th or 20th was the due date for our little peanut. I can't believe that all these months have gone by and we weren't able to conceive again.
Honestly there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of our loss...my heart hurts for all who have or will ever experience a m/c.
When I think about all the things I missed out on not being pregnant, it really saddens me, especially when I hear my friends complain (and If I was pg I'm sure I'd complain too so I know they mean nothing by it).
I thank the Lord for helping us come to the decision of adoption and leading us down a new path to parenthood. I really don't know where I would be emotionally if we weren't looking forward to the blessing of a child in our future.

Through the heartbreak of our m/c I worked on our nursery continuing to believe one day we will need it. This has gotten me so far mentally and I am so thankful for that. Our sw was impressed to see the nursery ready (or pretty close to it) on Monday when she did our home visit. I am a planner and love being organized and on top of things so I definitely want to be prepared for any surprise calls.

I just wanted to mark this day in some way. It was supposed to be a very happy time for us and instead we remember our little angel who is with God in heaven.

checking out a sig

Songs and poems

"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him"
1 Samuel 1:27

I cross my heart: George Strait

From God's Arms to My Arms to Yours: Michael McLean

Arms Wide Open: Creed

A New Day Has Come: Celine Dion

When Love Takes You In: Steven Curtis Chapman

Sweet Baby: Michelle Featherstone

They Chose Me: Faith :Refined

Handprints On The Wall: Kenny Rogers

Amazing: Janelle

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

Poem:
We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life.
But those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them, are carried on the wings of destiny and placed among us by God's very own hands.
-Kristi Larson

Our children are not ours because they share our genes...they are ours because we have had the audacity to envision them. That, at the end of the day...or long sleepless night, is how love really works.
-author unkown

Longing for a child to love, I'd wish upon the stars above. In my heart I always knew, a part of me belonged to you.

The day you took my outstretched hand, a journey ended, but our lives began. Still mesmerized by your sweet face, still warmed inside by our first embrace.

Great adoption blinkies

And my all time fave blinkie:

Pictures of the nursery

We are posted as a waiting family

On the facilitators web page. OMG! I just checked like I do everyday and there we are. It is so real now...WOW!

Please GOD continue to help us through this, continue to watch over us and help us achieve our ultimate dream :O)

We had our home visit this morning

And we got verbal approval from our sw :O)
She needs all our medical and 2 more reference letters before she can write up the written approval.
Josh and I are psyched! What an accomplishment. We have learned a lot from the home study process and feel relieved that it is behind us now.
The agency received our application on 7-15 and today is 9-15-08...so much done in just 2 mos.

We are "PAPER PREGNANT" WAHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Now begins the waiting!

New middle name option for a girl

Bella...I like the way Bella sounds with Aleigha, esp. with the nickname Ali . Ali Bella, Ali Bell! So cute!!
Bella means my God is a vow.
What do you think???

PE's are done

Josh and I both got our PE's last week. We still need to get our blood work done, just waiting on our insurance. Having big problems with it. It didn't go through yet...grrr! I called and spoke with the Ins. co last week a few times and they had no record of us and couldn't find the group (the group number on our paperwork was missing 1 number) not sure what is going on. Josh's work told us to pay out of pocket and get receipts and we'd submit them. We got our enrollment form back in the mail yest. the co he works for didn't fill out their part, group name...again...grrr! I have tried to get this info from his work, but feel like we are getting the run around for some reason and this scares me. I left her a message last night saying I needed the group name (cause the ins. co can't find them under the co name for some reason) and I still am waiting to hear back from her. I want to send this out asap. I am so scared we don't have coverage. His work says we do, but I don't put a whole lot of faith in that...We Better! I am completely out of one of my meds after today and need to go pick them up and pay out of pocket. I am so frustrated with this...it should be all set and no worry of ours at all.

Oh ya, The facilitator called yest. to let me know that they received my packet. It hadn't gotten to her to look through yet, but said she'd call me again this week to go over our profile, etc...

I just called again and spoke with Josh's work, she is saying it is Josh's fault for not bringing in the billing to submit. That comes later, Hello? The ins. co isn't going to reimburse us payment till we are actually active with them. And she says she's asked him 3 times to bring in the paperwork and he never does it...again...hello. He just went to the dr on Fri. She says she will call them now and try to figure it out...we'll see.

Mailing packet of profiles and PE

Got my PE done this am. Got to go for blood work next week (waiting for insurance to kick in, had to pay out of pocket today and was told I'd get reimbursed by Ins. co.) sometime with Josh and then await those results, but I got an all clear on my PE form. I saw the NP (Chris)and was very happy with her.

Also, I've got our packet of profiles for the facilitator all ready to go. I am afraid to seal it up as I feel I must have forgot something, but I think it is all set...finally!
I will bring it to the post office this afternoon.

Next is Josh's PE on Friday afternoon and I go get my TB test read then too. He'll need to get his read after as well.

That is our update :O)