Spoke with our SW

We talked about sending some money to J for transportation.
I asked her about when we should travel and she said she and J's counselor will be pushing for it to be after the surrender so we aren't out any travel money if J changes her mind.
J's counselor will talk to J about this and encourage this situation so hopefully J is okay with that. If not, we'll see...

J is 39 weeks today

7 days to go...wow!

I called to talk with J tonight to see how things are going. Her Mom told me she is staying with a friend now that she is so close to her due date (closer to hospital and has transportation).

I had a nice long chat with her Mom. She told me all about the evening that J had changed her mind (briefly) and came back to her original decision. It was good to hear why this had happened (I won't share the details here).

I can't believe it is getting so close.
I got the Graco Metrolite and car seat base out of the garage tonight to go with the Snugride car seat. So we'll be ready to go.

I need to call and talk with our SW tomorrow to see what she thinks about us waiting to go out till after baby has arrived and J is ready to sign or till TPR is signed. I don't know what J thinks about that either...
I 'll call her on Wed. to see if she is back at her Mom and Dad's and see how she is doing.

More later...

God Bless!

J called last night

She called to thank us for the package we sent her. She said she really liked it.
She had gone to see her adoption counselor/ SW yesterday afternoon at the agency she is working with. She said she talked with them and they said what she is feeling is normal. She said they showed her the forms she'd be signing.
She said the agency was wondering if we'd be coming there before the baby was born or after.
We'd prefer to travel there after the baby has arrived safe and sound and we hear he/she is healthy and that J will be signing or has signed TPR. We are hoping that this is the way we can do this. Then we can meet her afterward and give her her New England bag and gift.
She feels she'll go full term.
She had asked the agency what happens if the Bfather comes back after she has signed, they said we and he would have to go to court. We asked her if he had been interested in parenting and she said he didn't want her to give up the baby for adoption, but she hasn't spoken to him or seen him in many months now.
We just keep praying for all involved in this adoption situation.

New name list

J called back last night

She called us around 11:45 pm (here) and she was very calm, sounded happier then ever and apologized over and over again. She said she was going to go through with the adoption. That she had made her mind up and wasn't changing it. She wants us to have the baby. Her boyfriend came back into the picture and was trying to get her to keep the baby (not sure yet if it is Bfather or not), but when they started to talk about how things would work, she realized they weren't going to. She said she was going through an emotional roller coaster over the past 2 days and she is sure now. We asked her if she would change her mind again (I know, one never knows) and she said a firm no. So I guess we proceed from here very cautiously and guarded. I need to call our SW and update her on the change again. Josh and I would really like it if we could wait till TPR is signed before traveling just in case.

I will keep you all updated.

Heart broken

Our hearts just ache. We wonder why it is so hard for us to obtain one of the things that is so easy to so many.
I am so angry that I let myself believe. I just knew it was too good to be true, why did I let myself believe??
I know that this just wasn't meant to be and I do believe our baby is out there. I pray and pray that we are matched again quickly. I can't bear the thought of waiting and waiting. Not after the happiness we were feeling just a short time ago has been ripped away, yet again.
Please God lead us down the right path, we need your guidance. Please lead us to our child...please!

Failed Adoption

I will write more at a later date. Right now, Josh and I are heart broken.

We called to talk with J and she was acting funny and asked for our number to call us back, she said she was just talking with her parents and wanted to finish. She called us back in about 1/2 hr (Josh and I just sat in the office by the phone waiting). We had a bad feeling. She called back and said she was having second thoughts and that she wanted to keep the baby. She said her boyfriend was going to help her...how devastating for us... We wished her the best of luck. Josh talked with her a bit and I cried and cried...