)
Today I kissed an angel
I knew it from the start.
The first time my angel smiled at me;
I gave away my heart.
Today I kissed an angel;
This angel child of mine
Though not of my creation,
My child by God’s design.
Today I kissed an angel.
My heart is dancing wild;
Our family, by a miracle;
Blessed by our angel child.
*********************************
Longing for a child to love,
I’d wish upon the stars above.
In my heart I always knew,
A part of me was meant for you.
I think how happy we will be,
Once I adopt you, and you adopt me.
I dream of all the joy you’ll bring,
Imagining even the littlest things.
The way it will feel to hold you tight,
And tuck you in every night.
The drawings on the refrigerator door,
And childhood toys across the floor.
The favorite stories read again and again,
And hours of games with make-believe friends.
The day you took my outstretched hand,
A journey ended, but our lives began.
Still mesmerized by your sweet face,
Still warmed inside by our first embrace.
I promised to give you a happy home,
And a loving family all your own.
A house you’ve now made complete,
With laughter, smiles, and tiny feet.
A parent is one who guides the way,
Know I will be there everyday.
Rest easy as each night you sleep,
A lifetime of love is yours to keep.
Longing for a child to love,
I’d wish upon the stars above.
In my heart I always knew,
A part of me belonged to you.
~ LABOR OF MY HEART ~~
I would have given anything
to be the one to know
the pain of bringing you into this world
but it couldn’t be.
Though I did not bring you here
still I labored in my tears
through the long nights I prayed
you would come to me.
You are the labor of my heart Child,
you are the labor of my heart
with all my strength I prayed
till they laid you in my arms Child,
you are the labor of my heart.
Blessed be the maker
of bone of other bone.
He made flesh of my desire
and today I take you home.
You are the labor of my heart Child,
you are the labor of my heart
with all my strength I prayed
till they laid you in my arms Child,
you are the labor of my heart Child,
you are the labor of my heart.
Quotes:
“I didn’t give you the gift of life,
But in my heart I know.
The love I feel is deep and real,
As if it had been so.
For us to have each other
Is like a dream come true.
No, I didn’t give you The gift of life,
Life gave me the gift of you.”
“Adoption is when a child grew in its mommy’s heart instead of her tummy.”
“Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone,
but still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
you didn’t grow under my heart, but in it.”
– Unknown
Monday, August 25, 2008
Our last couples home study meeting...
Is tonight.
I get more nervous the more meetings we have...I think I am so afraid that at one of the meetings she is just going to say something like we aren't comfortable working with you for some reason, finances or something.
I don't know. I thought I was going to stop this worrying, oh, who am I kidding it is just the beg. of lots of worrying, lol!
We got our fingerprints back...all good! I think we are just waiting on CORI's, I think. We both have our PE's next week. Hope all goes well there and I know we'll both be needing blood work for the adoption.
We have made our decision on the facilitator to work with. I made copies last week of our profile book and now just waiting for the photo for the front and everything else is ready to be mailed in :O) I communicated with her through email and let her know we'll be using her services. I can't wait to get started.
Okay, that's about it for now.
We'll be scheduling our home visit tonight at our meeting. We also have our 2nd Aparent class tonight right after our meeting too.
Till later, Keep on praying...please :O)
I get more nervous the more meetings we have...I think I am so afraid that at one of the meetings she is just going to say something like we aren't comfortable working with you for some reason, finances or something.
I don't know. I thought I was going to stop this worrying, oh, who am I kidding it is just the beg. of lots of worrying, lol!
We got our fingerprints back...all good! I think we are just waiting on CORI's, I think. We both have our PE's next week. Hope all goes well there and I know we'll both be needing blood work for the adoption.
We have made our decision on the facilitator to work with. I made copies last week of our profile book and now just waiting for the photo for the front and everything else is ready to be mailed in :O) I communicated with her through email and let her know we'll be using her services. I can't wait to get started.
Okay, that's about it for now.
We'll be scheduling our home visit tonight at our meeting. We also have our 2nd Aparent class tonight right after our meeting too.
Till later, Keep on praying...please :O)
Monday, August 11, 2008
Announced to DH's family
We were all together this weekend at Dh brother's house. Saturday evening we celebrated our youngest nephews 2nd birthday and on Sunday we celebrated our 2 MA nephews summer b-days.
So, on Saturday eve. We were all in the kitchen eating cake and ice cream and my mother in law asks us "any good news" she asks us this whenever she sees us(she and my father in law were the only ones on DH's side of the family that know of our plan to adopt)so I look at her like I can't believe you are asking us this and say "nope", she says "sure there is", DH and I look at each other and say "no", then DH says "we aren't expecting if that is what you mean" and from there, I can't recall who said it, DH, my mother in law or myself, but it was announced that we are adopting. I was shocked at the reaction, there was cheering and we got congratulated by everyone. I was so touched that I almost cried. They were all asking us questions and I could barely talk :O) I never would have thought that they would be so happy for us, very happily surprising.
I have read in my adoption books that just because I am not physically carrying a baby, we are expecting a baby and that we shouldn't miss out on special traditions, like announcing the expected baby or a shower, etc... And they gave me the feeling as if I had just told them that I was pregnant and I can't thank them enough for that moment...I will always remember it fondly. So thank you to Helen, my Mother in law for our special announcement and special moment. I can't wait till the day I can introduce our little one to our entire family.
So, on Saturday eve. We were all in the kitchen eating cake and ice cream and my mother in law asks us "any good news" she asks us this whenever she sees us(she and my father in law were the only ones on DH's side of the family that know of our plan to adopt)so I look at her like I can't believe you are asking us this and say "nope", she says "sure there is", DH and I look at each other and say "no", then DH says "we aren't expecting if that is what you mean" and from there, I can't recall who said it, DH, my mother in law or myself, but it was announced that we are adopting. I was shocked at the reaction, there was cheering and we got congratulated by everyone. I was so touched that I almost cried. They were all asking us questions and I could barely talk :O) I never would have thought that they would be so happy for us, very happily surprising.
I have read in my adoption books that just because I am not physically carrying a baby, we are expecting a baby and that we shouldn't miss out on special traditions, like announcing the expected baby or a shower, etc... And they gave me the feeling as if I had just told them that I was pregnant and I can't thank them enough for that moment...I will always remember it fondly. So thank you to Helen, my Mother in law for our special announcement and special moment. I can't wait till the day I can introduce our little one to our entire family.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Names
I found out something recently that I did not know. A lot of times the Bmom names the baby, sometimes you come up with a name she accepts, sometimes you agree on a name and sometimes she allows the Aparents to name the baby.
Well, I am awful about names. I think it is due to being a teacher for so long. There are so many names I just would not want our child to have. I know that if the Bmom names the baby something we can't stand, we can always change it, but then you feel that that was something meaningful and really nice, do you want to mess with that?
I know we don't know what our particular situation will be like, but I love talking names :O)
My favorites since the beginning are:
Girl =
Aleigha (not sure of the spelling I'd like yet)
Aleaha
Aleea
Aleya
Alea
Middle name:
Josi
Ruby
Cate
Theresa (pronounce Ter-a-sa)
Teresa
Boy =
Joel
Tyler
Middle name:
William
Joshua
or William Joshua
Bye!
Well, I am awful about names. I think it is due to being a teacher for so long. There are so many names I just would not want our child to have. I know that if the Bmom names the baby something we can't stand, we can always change it, but then you feel that that was something meaningful and really nice, do you want to mess with that?
I know we don't know what our particular situation will be like, but I love talking names :O)
My favorites since the beginning are:
Girl =
Aleigha (not sure of the spelling I'd like yet)
Aleaha
Aleea
Aleya
Alea
Middle name:
Josi
Ruby
Cate
Theresa (pronounce Ter-a-sa)
Teresa
Boy =
Joel
Tyler
Middle name:
William
Joshua
or William Joshua
Bye!
Better things..........
So, we have (ok, mostly I have)been working in the nursery. Yes, I have allowed myself to really believe that things will come.
We set the crib up (that was fun for the two of us) back at the end of July (26th I believe). I have been washing all the clothing, towels, sheets, wash cloths, bibs, blankets, swaddle me's, sleep sacks, stuffed toys, etc... I have been using this sweet lullaby scented detergent by Method and I LOVE it. It makes everything smell so nice :O) And I am a sucker for scents!
A few months ago I painted some wooden farm animals (2 of each, sheep, pig, cow, duckie, rooster and 1 little piece of white picket fence). I hung them up last night over the closet/shelve area...they look cute!
I haven't yet washed the plastic toys (some from the daycare) or the crib set (will need to take it off some time).
I love how everything looks. I am feeling so many feelings, excitement, anticipation, anxiety, hope, fear, worry and happiness.
In all the adoption books I have read, it says that just because we are adopting shouldn't mean that we have to miss out on all the expectant parent stuff. Therefore I am trying to remind myself (even though we don't have official approval till next month...hopefully). I am believing. I walk into the nursery or I just lay in bed at night and think...Is our little one being created or is he or she already created or will he or she come about many months from now? Wonder!!!
It is all that there is in adoption...wonder and hope.
For some strange reason I always felt that ttc would be a challenge for us, I just always felt that feeling, but with this adoption I have the opposite feeling. I feel it is going to come about quickly. I just feel we will be chosen pretty quickly and then it will be a matter of praying with all our might that we actually become his/her parents without any problems.
We set the crib up (that was fun for the two of us) back at the end of July (26th I believe). I have been washing all the clothing, towels, sheets, wash cloths, bibs, blankets, swaddle me's, sleep sacks, stuffed toys, etc... I have been using this sweet lullaby scented detergent by Method and I LOVE it. It makes everything smell so nice :O) And I am a sucker for scents!
A few months ago I painted some wooden farm animals (2 of each, sheep, pig, cow, duckie, rooster and 1 little piece of white picket fence). I hung them up last night over the closet/shelve area...they look cute!
I haven't yet washed the plastic toys (some from the daycare) or the crib set (will need to take it off some time).
I love how everything looks. I am feeling so many feelings, excitement, anticipation, anxiety, hope, fear, worry and happiness.
In all the adoption books I have read, it says that just because we are adopting shouldn't mean that we have to miss out on all the expectant parent stuff. Therefore I am trying to remind myself (even though we don't have official approval till next month...hopefully). I am believing. I walk into the nursery or I just lay in bed at night and think...Is our little one being created or is he or she already created or will he or she come about many months from now? Wonder!!!
It is all that there is in adoption...wonder and hope.
For some strange reason I always felt that ttc would be a challenge for us, I just always felt that feeling, but with this adoption I have the opposite feeling. I feel it is going to come about quickly. I just feel we will be chosen pretty quickly and then it will be a matter of praying with all our might that we actually become his/her parents without any problems.
Adoption profile book
We got our profile book back from the agency yest. I had left it on Mon. with the sw for her and her co sw to look over. I believe it was the other sw who mailed it back. She reminded me to be sure I used a real photo on the cover and not a photocopied one (no pic on there at this point), she wanted me to put the name of our town, how many people live here and its location to/from Boston. I only had 1 sp. error (now instead of know, duh!) and she wanted me to make sure I added for further info call........... on the very last page. She said Nice Job (underlined, he-he!) for the first time!!! No other notes or changes I guess. Hopefully they liked it and thinks it will "work". I know I am very happy with the results of it :O)
I have been worrying, what if we don't get approved? But I am thinking(hate to say assuming) that with them letting me make a profile book and looking it over (instead of saying why don't you hold onto your profile and we'll look at it after the home visit, etc...)That we will be accepted/approved.
Our sw was a little concerned for us about our income being quite a bit less this year due to Josh's lay off for a few months and for me being per diem for the year, but I explained things to her about how we are planning to do things and that things WILL work. I just have this underlying fear (of course I do, I am Jill) that they will think we can't financially do it or that something will come up from the PEs that we aren't healthy enough, yada yada yada!
I know, stop...I keep telling myself stop it and enjoy it. I think I'd be the same way if I were physically expecting. I'd be a worry wart, that is just how I am.
So, next post onto better things :O)
I have been worrying, what if we don't get approved? But I am thinking(hate to say assuming) that with them letting me make a profile book and looking it over (instead of saying why don't you hold onto your profile and we'll look at it after the home visit, etc...)That we will be accepted/approved.
Our sw was a little concerned for us about our income being quite a bit less this year due to Josh's lay off for a few months and for me being per diem for the year, but I explained things to her about how we are planning to do things and that things WILL work. I just have this underlying fear (of course I do, I am Jill) that they will think we can't financially do it or that something will come up from the PEs that we aren't healthy enough, yada yada yada!
I know, stop...I keep telling myself stop it and enjoy it. I think I'd be the same way if I were physically expecting. I'd be a worry wart, that is just how I am.
So, next post onto better things :O)
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Our individual home studies are done
Well, I did my home study yest. afternoon (1 hr long). Boy, this process can really make you worry. You wonder, what does she think of us? She is a very nice woman, but you don't get any feedback. We talked a little more about facilitators and I also gave her a copy of the profile I made. She and her coworker will read it over and make changes. I really, really like how it turned out so I hope that they are happy with it too. And if any changes, they are minimal.
I received info from 2 other facilitating agencies yest. I am still waiting to speak to the one that the agency recommended to us and the sw said yest. that thinks would be the best one for us. Hopefully she calls me back today so I can obtain some info and get a feel for her.
Our next home study couples meeting is on Mon. August 25th right before our next Aparent class. At this time we will set a date for our home visit...which is the last step in the home study process and after the home visit we will find out if we are approved. Fingers crossed!
We got our fingerprints done this past Sat. Need to get a money order today and mail them off.
Please wish us continued luck in this detailed process and pray with us! Thanks!!
I received info from 2 other facilitating agencies yest. I am still waiting to speak to the one that the agency recommended to us and the sw said yest. that thinks would be the best one for us. Hopefully she calls me back today so I can obtain some info and get a feel for her.
Our next home study couples meeting is on Mon. August 25th right before our next Aparent class. At this time we will set a date for our home visit...which is the last step in the home study process and after the home visit we will find out if we are approved. Fingers crossed!
We got our fingerprints done this past Sat. Need to get a money order today and mail them off.
Please wish us continued luck in this detailed process and pray with us! Thanks!!
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