)
We had a great weekend, finally nice weather here. Yesterday we put together 2 Child life swing sets that 2 friends gave to us. By putting them together, it made one great big, fun swing set. It was a bit tough for Josh as he is scared for this coming week and hopes that all his efforts, to clear the area and set it up is worth it.
Also yesterday we celebrated my parents 38 year anniversary by all going out to dinner. Joel's great when we go out, he gets to try new foods. Yesterday he tried a few bits of tomato, sucked on some crusty bread and a picke...he was happy :o)
Today Josh made waffles for everyone for breakfast (again, Joel liked, LOL!) then Josh, Joel and I went to Parlee farms and visited with all the goats, sheep and chickens. No picking today so we'll have to go back later this week to pick blueberries (we did buy some all ready picked and Joel had about 6 big ones at lunch...peeled and squished). Josh and I got a frappe and Joel sucked down some water from his sippy cup. I'll have to post a pic, he was so cute bopping around on Daddy's back in his Kelty backpack carrier. After that we went to the lake, Joel had lunch and the three of us went swimming. We floated over to see my sister's in-laws 2 houses over and Joel got to swim/play with his "cousins" (that's what the girls age 5 and 3 call him. Well that and Baby Joel, LOL!)
After that he took a 3 hour nap, awoke for dinner and then we went for a boat ride.
We all had a nice day!
I unfortunately am really starting to worry. I am trying to continue to just not think about it, but I find myself saying things like oh, I can't wait to bring Joel here or do this or that with Joel and then end up saying well, I hope to... I hate that!
I am trying to treat today, Mon. Tues and Wed. like any other day until we know what occurs Wed., but with others talking about it and asking anything new it is hard. I am so thankful for everyones prayers, support and thoughts, but it is just hard. That is the only word I can find to use...HARD!
Joel is our whole world. I love that boy more and more each and every second and to even think, OMG...
I have a scared feeling in the pit of my stomach. To even imagine life without him, I can't, It just can't happen.
I keep running what our attorney told us through my head and it renews my hope, but then I think about the situation we are in and how easy it could change. I just don't know how I could handle it.
He is our son! And he just has to remain our son...PLease GOD!
Before Joel went to bed tonight I prayed with him for the first time and I pray that it is the first of many times we pray together. My sweet, amazing baby boy! GOD Bless Him and keep him safely here with us, his Mommy and Daddy who love him with all our hearts!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
Nice talk with Joel's Birth Mom last night
We talked about what we are all going through, the worry, the stress. She is so scared and sad that we may loose Joel. She knows she won't get updates on him, get pictures of him or know anything about him if his Bfather gets him.
I told her our attorney was very positive and that has helped us to stay positive. We all just want it over with. On one hand I am so glad that the date is this coming week, but on the other I am so terrified.
I haven't really been allowing myself to think about it.
I watch DH as he goes in at night and kisses Joel on the forehead and tells him he loves him, how my Mom hugs him tightly, kisses him and tells him how much we all love him and my Dad when he puts him up on his shoulders and looks so proud to have Joel as a grandson. Not to mention my sister, Joel's Auntie who sees him all the time and they just adore each other. And all the fun Joel and I have together each day playing, learning and exploring and all the quiet special times between us too. He loves us and trusts us so much, I pray he won't be hurt by all of this.
We spoke with his Birth Mom last night about the gift she has given us and us to her by being Joel's Mommy and Daddy. We told her we'll always be friends no matter what. She is a really special person to us for sure!
I also told her of our hope that things go our way next week and are finally said and done and dream to be able to go out to NV and visit her in a year or so.
All I can say is Please GOD, please hear all our prayers and all the prayers of our family, friends and other's who have heard our story and know how much we need Joel and Joel needs us to be his forever family.
We love this little boy more then life, I actually can't even remember if he came from me or not, that's how much he feels like he is our biological son, how much we love him so.
I told her our attorney was very positive and that has helped us to stay positive. We all just want it over with. On one hand I am so glad that the date is this coming week, but on the other I am so terrified.
I haven't really been allowing myself to think about it.
I watch DH as he goes in at night and kisses Joel on the forehead and tells him he loves him, how my Mom hugs him tightly, kisses him and tells him how much we all love him and my Dad when he puts him up on his shoulders and looks so proud to have Joel as a grandson. Not to mention my sister, Joel's Auntie who sees him all the time and they just adore each other. And all the fun Joel and I have together each day playing, learning and exploring and all the quiet special times between us too. He loves us and trusts us so much, I pray he won't be hurt by all of this.
We spoke with his Birth Mom last night about the gift she has given us and us to her by being Joel's Mommy and Daddy. We told her we'll always be friends no matter what. She is a really special person to us for sure!
I also told her of our hope that things go our way next week and are finally said and done and dream to be able to go out to NV and visit her in a year or so.
All I can say is Please GOD, please hear all our prayers and all the prayers of our family, friends and other's who have heard our story and know how much we need Joel and Joel needs us to be his forever family.
We love this little boy more then life, I actually can't even remember if he came from me or not, that's how much he feels like he is our biological son, how much we love him so.
Foods eaten so far
We have been offering Joel a little of almost everything we eat...so far he has liked everything.
So I thought I'd jot down what he's had so far:
Puffs (sweet potato, blueberry & banana), freeze dried apples, fresh mango (favorite), biter biscuits, carrots, peas, green beans, potato salad, pickles (loves), blueberries, YoBaby yogurt, cottage cheese w/ pineapples & cherries (okay about, doesn't love), chick peas (again okay with), bites of ice cream, turkey, chicken, ham, cheese, hamburg, rice krispies, bread & toast, pancake, waffle, dried blueberries, Gerber veggie puff sticks, macaroni, spaghetti (no sauce yet), licks of whip cream. Okay, that's all I can think off right now.
He is still eating his pureed foods too, homemade and stage 2's and 3's. His current faves are pineapple glazed ham and cinnamon raisin pears.
He likes to drink diluted juice from his sippy and water from spring water bottles, likes to work on the little 8 oz frozen ones.
So I thought I'd jot down what he's had so far:
Puffs (sweet potato, blueberry & banana), freeze dried apples, fresh mango (favorite), biter biscuits, carrots, peas, green beans, potato salad, pickles (loves), blueberries, YoBaby yogurt, cottage cheese w/ pineapples & cherries (okay about, doesn't love), chick peas (again okay with), bites of ice cream, turkey, chicken, ham, cheese, hamburg, rice krispies, bread & toast, pancake, waffle, dried blueberries, Gerber veggie puff sticks, macaroni, spaghetti (no sauce yet), licks of whip cream. Okay, that's all I can think off right now.
He is still eating his pureed foods too, homemade and stage 2's and 3's. His current faves are pineapple glazed ham and cinnamon raisin pears.
He likes to drink diluted juice from his sippy and water from spring water bottles, likes to work on the little 8 oz frozen ones.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
4th of July 2009
We hope this was one of many 4th of July's with our little man. Daddy made a bonfire on the beach at the lake and Joel and I went out in the boat with Auntie, Uncle and Grampy and watched the fire works (about 3 or 4 houses had them on the lake). Joel was asleep on the boat from our evening boat ride and awoke right before the fire works started (9:30 pm and they went till about 10:00 pm) so he ended up sitting on my lap in his sweatshirt wrapped in a blanket and he really enjoyed watching them. He never flinched or seemed bothered by the noise and occ. would look up at my face to see my reaction...so cute! He wanted to go to bed so bad after that so we left shortly after, got home, put him in his night time diaper and he was out. He woke up around 8:30 am Sunday, had breakfast then took a long nap, got up had lunch, went in the pool, was so tired, took another long nap, had dinner, was so tired, took a bath and to bed around 7:30 pm. Too funny!
He still seems a bit tired this am too, he slept till 8:30 am, his usual wake up during the week is 6:30 am.
He needs to be rested for his 6 months pictures at Sears tomorrow morning...his first professional pics :o) Hope they go well!
On a different not, Joel's Bmother called last night while I was giving Joel a bath so Josh talked to her, she said she had a question for us so he put her on speaker, she wanted to know that if God forbid we lost Joel, could she still call us and be our friend...obviously she is very worried as well.
He still seems a bit tired this am too, he slept till 8:30 am, his usual wake up during the week is 6:30 am.
He needs to be rested for his 6 months pictures at Sears tomorrow morning...his first professional pics :o) Hope they go well!
On a different not, Joel's Bmother called last night while I was giving Joel a bath so Josh talked to her, she said she had a question for us so he put her on speaker, she wanted to know that if God forbid we lost Joel, could she still call us and be our friend...obviously she is very worried as well.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Love our little monkey butt
With all that's going on, it is so hard not to stop and think about it about a hundred times a day. We just can't loose our little man! We all love him so very much!!
I am so happy with my life right now. I have all the people around me that I love, I am a stay at home Mommy to an amazing baby boy and have a wonderful, sweet, affectionate, fun, easy going, funny, loving DH who is an incredible Daddy!
I just can't imagine things being different. I am so scared for my life to change and not be all about Joel...he is my world. He and I are what it's all about each day, we keep each other company :o)
I just keep finding myself saying Please GOD, Please keep our boy here with us, this is where he belongs.
It terrifies me to think of him being ripped away from us, the only parents he has ever known, the ones he loves and trusts, the people who know him, his likes and dislikes, etc... He is our whole world and it is the scariest thing to have to worry about this.
I just want it done with...I want to know for sure he is ours, here to stay. Goodness if that day does come it will be incredible!
Again, all we can do is pray and pray and pray some more!!
I want to see my little boy grow, get teeth, crawl, walk, run, ride a bike, swim, play ball, talk up a storm...he'll be an amazing little boy and I will feel so blessed to be able to see him through all life has to offer him.
I am so happy with my life right now. I have all the people around me that I love, I am a stay at home Mommy to an amazing baby boy and have a wonderful, sweet, affectionate, fun, easy going, funny, loving DH who is an incredible Daddy!
I just can't imagine things being different. I am so scared for my life to change and not be all about Joel...he is my world. He and I are what it's all about each day, we keep each other company :o)
I just keep finding myself saying Please GOD, Please keep our boy here with us, this is where he belongs.
It terrifies me to think of him being ripped away from us, the only parents he has ever known, the ones he loves and trusts, the people who know him, his likes and dislikes, etc... He is our whole world and it is the scariest thing to have to worry about this.
I just want it done with...I want to know for sure he is ours, here to stay. Goodness if that day does come it will be incredible!
Again, all we can do is pray and pray and pray some more!!
I want to see my little boy grow, get teeth, crawl, walk, run, ride a bike, swim, play ball, talk up a storm...he'll be an amazing little boy and I will feel so blessed to be able to see him through all life has to offer him.
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