Nice talk with Joel's Birth Mom last night

We talked about what we are all going through, the worry, the stress. She is so scared and sad that we may loose Joel. She knows she won't get updates on him, get pictures of him or know anything about him if his Bfather gets him.
I told her our attorney was very positive and that has helped us to stay positive. We all just want it over with. On one hand I am so glad that the date is this coming week, but on the other I am so terrified.
I haven't really been allowing myself to think about it.
I watch DH as he goes in at night and kisses Joel on the forehead and tells him he loves him, how my Mom hugs him tightly, kisses him and tells him how much we all love him and my Dad when he puts him up on his shoulders and looks so proud to have Joel as a grandson. Not to mention my sister, Joel's Auntie who sees him all the time and they just adore each other. And all the fun Joel and I have together each day playing, learning and exploring and all the quiet special times between us too. He loves us and trusts us so much, I pray he won't be hurt by all of this.

We spoke with his Birth Mom last night about the gift she has given us and us to her by being Joel's Mommy and Daddy. We told her we'll always be friends no matter what. She is a really special person to us for sure!

I also told her of our hope that things go our way next week and are finally said and done and dream to be able to go out to NV and visit her in a year or so.

All I can say is Please GOD, please hear all our prayers and all the prayers of our family, friends and other's who have heard our story and know how much we need Joel and Joel needs us to be his forever family.

We love this little boy more then life, I actually can't even remember if he came from me or not, that's how much he feels like he is our biological son, how much we love him so.