In not such a good way today

For no reason at all or all the reasons in the world I feel sad today.
Just want to cry and be some where else...
I feel such an ache, such an emptiness, such a want, such a desire for a child.
It breaks my heart I can't give my DH, my family or myself a baby.
I am so tired of wanting. I know we were approved for DIA just a little over 1 mos ago, but I have been waiting to be a Mom since we first started TTC, actually technically almost my whole life. My life goal (sad goal to some I am sure)was to meet a wonderful man and marry him, have babies and be a stay at home mom. I just see the whole mom ideas slipping further away.
I have had this crazy idea that we'd be matched quickly, but so have others who have waited for a year or more :o( I feel like yet again I am fooling myself.

And I worry so much about everything. My family, DH, DH's job, money, etc...

I so badly want to stop the worry and live in the day...I just feel like until my ultimate goal is complete and I can experience the joy of a child and of being a Mom I will continue in this cycle and cont. to feel such sadness and emptiness.

Thanks for listening today!

Some days I just get lost inside myself and I know that is where I am today...I need and will pull myself back out.

Life is as good as we make it. I have a wonderful family and awesome DH. Things are the way they are now and there are never any guarantees about what you have or that things will ever get better. So I will vow to live my life, the life I have for all that it is worth. I will have to have patience with what it is I pray for and believe in God's work and blessings.