)
I emailed her last night to do a "check in" as yest. put us at the one mos. mark waiting.
She just responded that it has been slow, slower then usual (not usually this slow till around Thanksgiving). They have done 2 placements this mos. One was AA and one Hispanic. They have one more they are working with currently.
Bummer!
I don't know what I expected to hear, but unfortunately this wasn't it.
I have such hope and I am so afraid to start getting sad and discouraged with each passing month like while ttc. It just hit me hard and I broke down and cried.
I pray I can keep up the strength to stay hopeful and strong as we continue to wait.
Pleas GOD help us to be strong! And help our situation come along soon. Please GOD!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Adoptive nursing
I know this can be a controversial topic and I'll admit when I first read about it I though come on, why would you want/need to breast feed an adopted baby.
So, over the past few months the thought has been in my mind and I have kept thinking about it.
I personally am not keen on the idea of b.feeding in general, I know it is wonderful for a baby, but I just don't feel it is for me.
While ttc I had thought about b.feeding and had decided I "might" try it, but I would have been more willing to pump. I am big on bottles and both parents feeding baby and by pumping baby would still be getting the benefits of BM.
Well, I am now thinking I'd like to try and induce lactation so I can pump BM for our future adopted baby. I know this sounds strange to some, so let me explain...
I feel nutritionally it would be a great benefit for baby and also a selfish reason for me would be the fact that I feel I have no hand in creating our baby. I feel like that part of me was taken away, but maybe, just maybe I can create the milk baby would need. That thought makes me feel really good...I could fill baby with my milk, part of me, nutrition to grow from me...I may not have been able to create our little baby, but I can try and create milk to help he/she be who they will be all by using/taking a small, but very beneficial part of me.
I would be interested in exclusively pumping and storing BM and no problem with also using formula too. I am not going to go BM crazy and only want baby to nurse or only take BM.
I just want to see if maybe I can be successful in producing something so important for a little one. And if I am successful in my trial I hope to be able to pump and store many precious ounces for our future baby.
I have been researching this subject and finding both positive and negative. Not too much info out there, but I know it can be done. It takes a lot of determination and darn it, I got that.
Basically what I am finding is that you need a good strong (preferably hospital grade breast pump)and you need to try and pump multiple times per day both sides at the same time. There are herbs that help milk production too.
I am a bit nervous, esp. with no baby in sight yet, but they say start months in advance to build up a supply.
EX: A women pumped every 4 hrs, took Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle (multiple tablets per day) and started producing small amounts of milk at the end of 2 wks. and 2 ounces to store after 2 months).
I have also read that it may bother the birth mom to know you want to do this, although honestly I can't see why. It is in the best interest for the child and you will be doing everything else for and deciding on everything else you want to do for them for the rest of their life. I would think it shows love, determination, hope and care for the baby.
I want to try it! I want to see if my body can and will do it!
I figure I have the time during the day to dedicate to it and like I said, I am determined to do it.
I have been researching pumps and narrowed it down to a few I am interested in, granted they are not hospital grade, but they are double and well recommended.
I am watching a few on Ebay and want to look further into the herbs too.
I also feel like doing this makes me feel proactive in a process that I really have no control over at all. I can make the best of the months that we wait and see if my body can do something right and produce something so beneficial for a small growing baby. I just feel like it would be an amazing feeling to know that I can supply such nourishment and again, a little part of me to our future baby.
So, those are my thoughts I wanted to share :o)
Update: Ocotber 17, 2008
I have decided against this for now. The more I read the more I see that this is a big deal breaker (sadly) for many Bmoms.
I also decided (at least for now) that I do not want the constant pumping (every few hours) to be a constant reminder of how I long for our little one. I have run my life by testing my BS every few hours and cutting back to testing 3 -5 times a day (per my DR)instead of 10+ while ttc and it feels good to get my life back, away from watching the hours on the clock. Maybe when our baby is in sight I may feel differently. I would still love to be able to feed a part of me to our baby, but for now I will put this thought out of my mind and maybe revisit it another time.
So, over the past few months the thought has been in my mind and I have kept thinking about it.
I personally am not keen on the idea of b.feeding in general, I know it is wonderful for a baby, but I just don't feel it is for me.
While ttc I had thought about b.feeding and had decided I "might" try it, but I would have been more willing to pump. I am big on bottles and both parents feeding baby and by pumping baby would still be getting the benefits of BM.
Well, I am now thinking I'd like to try and induce lactation so I can pump BM for our future adopted baby. I know this sounds strange to some, so let me explain...
I feel nutritionally it would be a great benefit for baby and also a selfish reason for me would be the fact that I feel I have no hand in creating our baby. I feel like that part of me was taken away, but maybe, just maybe I can create the milk baby would need. That thought makes me feel really good...I could fill baby with my milk, part of me, nutrition to grow from me...I may not have been able to create our little baby, but I can try and create milk to help he/she be who they will be all by using/taking a small, but very beneficial part of me.
I would be interested in exclusively pumping and storing BM and no problem with also using formula too. I am not going to go BM crazy and only want baby to nurse or only take BM.
I just want to see if maybe I can be successful in producing something so important for a little one. And if I am successful in my trial I hope to be able to pump and store many precious ounces for our future baby.
I have been researching this subject and finding both positive and negative. Not too much info out there, but I know it can be done. It takes a lot of determination and darn it, I got that.
Basically what I am finding is that you need a good strong (preferably hospital grade breast pump)and you need to try and pump multiple times per day both sides at the same time. There are herbs that help milk production too.
I am a bit nervous, esp. with no baby in sight yet, but they say start months in advance to build up a supply.
EX: A women pumped every 4 hrs, took Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle (multiple tablets per day) and started producing small amounts of milk at the end of 2 wks. and 2 ounces to store after 2 months).
I have also read that it may bother the birth mom to know you want to do this, although honestly I can't see why. It is in the best interest for the child and you will be doing everything else for and deciding on everything else you want to do for them for the rest of their life. I would think it shows love, determination, hope and care for the baby.
I want to try it! I want to see if my body can and will do it!
I figure I have the time during the day to dedicate to it and like I said, I am determined to do it.
I have been researching pumps and narrowed it down to a few I am interested in, granted they are not hospital grade, but they are double and well recommended.
I am watching a few on Ebay and want to look further into the herbs too.
I also feel like doing this makes me feel proactive in a process that I really have no control over at all. I can make the best of the months that we wait and see if my body can do something right and produce something so beneficial for a small growing baby. I just feel like it would be an amazing feeling to know that I can supply such nourishment and again, a little part of me to our future baby.
So, those are my thoughts I wanted to share :o)
Update: Ocotber 17, 2008
I have decided against this for now. The more I read the more I see that this is a big deal breaker (sadly) for many Bmoms.
I also decided (at least for now) that I do not want the constant pumping (every few hours) to be a constant reminder of how I long for our little one. I have run my life by testing my BS every few hours and cutting back to testing 3 -5 times a day (per my DR)instead of 10+ while ttc and it feels good to get my life back, away from watching the hours on the clock. Maybe when our baby is in sight I may feel differently. I would still love to be able to feed a part of me to our baby, but for now I will put this thought out of my mind and maybe revisit it another time.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
3 weeks waiting today
I feel good. Went to a yard sale yest. and bought a Kelty Kids (really cool) back pack carrier, door way jumper and a few small toys.
I am feeling relaxed the past few days, not wondering when or thinking too much, not worrying...just praying.
God Bless!
I am feeling relaxed the past few days, not wondering when or thinking too much, not worrying...just praying.
God Bless!
Monday, September 29, 2008
2 weeks waiting so far
Who knows how many more there will be. I do wonder???
Haven't done much lately in terms of preparing mostly because almost everything I can do is done, lol!
I do need to put the scented drawer liner in the drawers soon.
Feelings:
I am feeling good, still optimistic. Sometimes I forget we are waiting for "that call", but most of the time I wait and wonder when it will happen. I try and just take each day at a time. I try and tell myself it could take a year or more, but when I start thinking about all that time waiting, it makes me feel awful. I keep praying that our time is sooner rather then later. I take this time planning things in my head, thinking about what we'll do with different situations, each time I go to a store I visit the baby section just to see what they have.
Mom wants to use a coupon I have for $4 of Pampers this week so I think we'll be going to Babies R Us one day this week and she'll be buying us a big box (haven't bought one of these yet) of Pampers size 1's.
Not much more going on.
Haven't done much lately in terms of preparing mostly because almost everything I can do is done, lol!
I do need to put the scented drawer liner in the drawers soon.
Feelings:
I am feeling good, still optimistic. Sometimes I forget we are waiting for "that call", but most of the time I wait and wonder when it will happen. I try and just take each day at a time. I try and tell myself it could take a year or more, but when I start thinking about all that time waiting, it makes me feel awful. I keep praying that our time is sooner rather then later. I take this time planning things in my head, thinking about what we'll do with different situations, each time I go to a store I visit the baby section just to see what they have.
Mom wants to use a coupon I have for $4 of Pampers this week so I think we'll be going to Babies R Us one day this week and she'll be buying us a big box (haven't bought one of these yet) of Pampers size 1's.
Not much more going on.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Would've been due
September 19th or 20th was the due date for our little peanut. I can't believe that all these months have gone by and we weren't able to conceive again.
Honestly there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of our loss...my heart hurts for all who have or will ever experience a m/c.
When I think about all the things I missed out on not being pregnant, it really saddens me, especially when I hear my friends complain (and If I was pg I'm sure I'd complain too so I know they mean nothing by it).
I thank the Lord for helping us come to the decision of adoption and leading us down a new path to parenthood. I really don't know where I would be emotionally if we weren't looking forward to the blessing of a child in our future.
Through the heartbreak of our m/c I worked on our nursery continuing to believe one day we will need it. This has gotten me so far mentally and I am so thankful for that. Our sw was impressed to see the nursery ready (or pretty close to it) on Monday when she did our home visit. I am a planner and love being organized and on top of things so I definitely want to be prepared for any surprise calls.
I just wanted to mark this day in some way. It was supposed to be a very happy time for us and instead we remember our little angel who is with God in heaven.
Honestly there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of our loss...my heart hurts for all who have or will ever experience a m/c.
When I think about all the things I missed out on not being pregnant, it really saddens me, especially when I hear my friends complain (and If I was pg I'm sure I'd complain too so I know they mean nothing by it).
I thank the Lord for helping us come to the decision of adoption and leading us down a new path to parenthood. I really don't know where I would be emotionally if we weren't looking forward to the blessing of a child in our future.
Through the heartbreak of our m/c I worked on our nursery continuing to believe one day we will need it. This has gotten me so far mentally and I am so thankful for that. Our sw was impressed to see the nursery ready (or pretty close to it) on Monday when she did our home visit. I am a planner and love being organized and on top of things so I definitely want to be prepared for any surprise calls.
I just wanted to mark this day in some way. It was supposed to be a very happy time for us and instead we remember our little angel who is with God in heaven.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
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