Excited for next cycle

I have just been doing so much thinking about starting Clomid next cycle and I am very excited.

I have read all about it and the chance of horrible side effects, but i am willing to go through them if this med works for us. I am thrilled at the idea that this med will regulate my cycles, help me ovulate earlier and give me a normal luteal phase...hopefully.
I found the last few days I have allowed myself to hope again. I am still so afraid too, thinking what if this doesn't doesn't work???
I think I am just feeling such relief that I have found an Ob that will work with us, help us and support us. I got that first appointment out of the way, discussed plans of action, have orders for labs and will go in for my pelvic u/s Mon. 11/26. Praying that all the tests are normal.

It just feels like the ball is rolling and I couldn't be happier about that.
Now I am in the wait to get a peak reading on the fm to show ovulation, then I go for labs and then wait for af and then start the Clomid.

I pray every night and hope that the Lord answers our prayers with a BFP.

Next Thurs. is Thanksgiving and then my birthday on Fri. Josh is throwing me a b-day party on Sat. I am looking forward to it...I just love having everyone get together.

Please GOD help us to conceive our miracle!

TTC/ new OB appointment

I went to meet with my new OB on Tues. afternoon. I really liked her, she was supportive, informative, friendly, experienced and she put me at ease. We discussed a lot of things and she answered all my questions. I left feeling like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.
My plan is to wait till I ovulate next (should be sometime next week if cycle is on track) and go in for lab work 7 dpo, 9 dpo and 11 dpo to check my Integrated Serial Progesterone.
Then she prescribed Clomid, (a Clomid challenge for 3 cycles) Yaaaa! So when my next cycle starts, I get lab work done on cd 3 and cd 11 (to test Estradoil and ad FSH) and I take the Clomid cd's 5-9. I also got a pap and cultures done so I will await the results of those (of course praying all is well there) and I have a lab order to get preconception blood work done which I will do the same time as my 7 dpo blood work. She also recommended that I get a pelvic u/s done as she may have felt something firm in my lower abdomen, she questioned a fibroid (though I had an extremely full bladder at the time, not sure if that matters). She also recommended I get my A1C down from 6.9 to 6.5 to be at my best. We discussed this and decided to up my dose of Glyburide from 1/4 of a 5 mg tab with each meal to a 1/2 tab with each meal. I started this Tues. night and had great bs numbers yest. good fasting and great post meal. I have the most trouble with breakfast and seem to only be able to eat no more than 1 slice of wheat toast worth of carbs along with some protein like eggs. Today I ate a piece of homemade pumpkin bread and was very high post meal, grrr! I just started tracking my bs on an online log that keeps averages and I can print out the info too. I find this helpful already. I am also back to checking my BBT each morning and using the fertility monitor so I can figure out when my LH psurge is and get the ball rolling :o)
I really hope and pray that this help from the Clomid is all my body needs and that we have success with it. Please help us pray.

Fianlly have an answer!

I went for my Beta HCG this am and it came back that I am NOT pregnant. I have a TTC appointment with a new OB/GYN next Tues. and I am looking forward to meeting with her and getting the ball rolling with some lab work. I really hope that we can get some help. I hate that I was so positive about this cycle starting after the bleed/spotting. I guess that was my period, just really early and really unusual. Oh well, onto another cycle and hopefully another chance.
Please keep the baby dust coming...we sure do need it. Thanks!

Still wondering???

Okay, it is 11 dpo today and still wondering where I am in my cycle.
The spotting I had at 5 dpo (started at 6 pm) continued through 8 dpo. It was definitely not a regular period. Since then I have still had a sore stomach/ cramping. 6 dpo I was very emotional and cried through out the day, was still very crampy, bad heartburn and had a lower backache. 7, 8, 9, 10 dpo still the same symptoms except I also noticed little purple veins on my chest which I had never noticed before and I also had some nausea off and on. I have been much more tired, actually went to bed before 7 pm last night. Today, 11 dpo I don't feel the cramps as strongly, but still have the other sx as well as stuffy head/ nose and headache and felt so cold and sick last night. So far I have caved in and done a few HPTs which of course have all been BFNs. The last one I did this afternoon. I have also been testing on the fertility monitor test sticks and it is showing that my estrogen has gone up over the past few days and still shows a faint LH line too. I do not know what all this means, was the spotting AF or was it indeed implantation bleeding? Why am I still crampy and have such a sore stomach with such bad heartburn?? I do not know the answers, but hope to get one soon. Based on the FM test sticks, it doesn't appear that AF is coming anytime soon (would show low estrogen and usually no LH present), but I have these cramps so...I am of course praying that all this means that a BFN is in the near future, but each time I take my BBT and it is low :o( (has been low all along, think the highest has been 97.5 or so) I think there is no way I am pregnant. I have researched online to see if indeed there are women who were pregnant with low temps, there seems to have been a few, but I really can't find to much on the subject. My sister (an RN who specializes in infertility says that your temp doesn't really matter and that women can be pg and have a lower temp).
I am trying to be hopeful here, I figure that the spotting, was more of a sign then any other month so far, but then again I had different symptoms the other months that I felt at the time were so promising, like chest tenderness, etc... none of that this time. I continue to use the progesterone cream twice a day just in case it is needed ;o). I am hoping to hold off on testing again until 12 dpo and 14 dpo. Someone I know got a BFP today at 15 dpo and I read about someone at 19 dpo, so I guess you just never know. I will update when I know something.

Okay, what is going on here???

I am currently about 6 dpo (days past ovulation) today. I have had spotting since last night (6 pm). I am too early for AF and never had this before. 3 dpo I had cramping and at one point in the afternoon when standing up I got 2 sharp shooting crampy pains in low abdomen one right after the other and no more...they were very noticeable and uncomfortable. 4 dpo I felt nauseous a few times, esp. in am. I had cramping and my lower back started to get achy. 5 dpo I awoke with an extremely achy/ sore lower back, cramps had pretty much subsided for the day, didn't even think about any symptoms or ttc until the spotting last night.
It is only 5:30 am now and I feel a little achy in lower abdomen, back seems to be feeling better, feeling tired, but didn't sleep that well last night (kept waking up hot and sweating). Took temp this am, only 97.36 (at 4 am and after being up at 1 and 3).
Anyway those are my sx this month. Funny thing is when I woke up yest. I said to myself I just wish I had a sign like some spotting and I kept checking yest. and last night when I saw it I was so excited. I am so hopeful that this is a positive sign. I know I have a short luteal phase at times, but I did not ovulate any earlier that the 19th so that would be way to early for AF.
FYI: FM test stick last night showed faint LH line and darker estrogen line (low estrogen) also cp is still very high and I do not have the normal AF feeling cramps. My stomach feels sore, like I over used my stomach muscles or something, laying in bed last night I felt fluttering, movement in lower abdomen and while falling asleep kept thinking it was feeling like there mini men in there working, hmmm! I also since yest. have had a lot of excess saliva and keep burping. Okay, that is it for now. I will have to wait and see.
Please GOD if this is the right time for us, please let it be.
Baby dust***************************************************************************

I think it is time...to see the doctor....

Well, Josh and I had a long talk tonight. We are 17 days away from our 1st Wedding Anniversary and although we are so happy with each other, we both want to add to our little family this coming year. We are thinking we need to investigate further into our reason for not conceiving for the past months despite some good efforts.
I admit I am very nervous about going to the doctor. I fear what she will say, what if anything they find that may be wrong, what changes they'll want me to make in my life. I know this is silly, I really do know that, but I am scared. I was just hoping things would just happen for us on our own, but we have given it some time and I know it won't hurt to try and see what the doctors think and maybe get some answers, who knows it may be something simple.
I just pray that my first visit goes well and that I like this new Ob/Gyn that I will be going to. Please wish us the best of luck. I am not sure if I will be changed over to insulin right away or not, but that will also be a big change in my life that I am very nervous about. You know even when things may be for the best, they can still be tough to take.
I really hope that my next A1C test comes back lower then the last one. I have been trying harder to keep my bg numbers in range. I still have a few numbers higher then I'd like at times, but for the most part they are well. I also have had a few lows since being on the Glyburide, some that really scare me, but I have been able to get them up and have been fine so far. This could all change though...learning to manage my Diabetes all over again with a new regimen will be a challenge I am sure.
Well, I will update later. I am hoping to muster the courage to call and make my doctors appointment sooner rather then later.

With that said, we will continue to try on our own**************Baby dust*****************

And yet another BFP for someone else

It is not that I am not happy for someone when they get a BFP, but I just instantly feel heart broken and cry. Each time I hear or read someone else is expecting I just feel broke.
It amazes me that someone can get pregnant on the first or second try and others struggle through BFNs every month, some for years. This is what I am afraid off. I keep telling myself it has only been about 7 cycles of trying, but that is 5 cycles more than so and so and then I just feel sad. I try so hard to keep my head up and say it will happen when it is time for it to happen, but then these feelings hit me, the what ifs, what if it doesn't happen for us or it takes us years, etc... I hate when those thoughts pour through my head. I guess I just feel like a woman should be deserving of their pregnancy when I am trying and trying. If I hear someone is expecting after 6 mos or so I feel happy for them. One or two I am just jealous that it was so easy for them. I know that is awful and I don't like feeling that way.

I recently purchased a new book called Big beautiful and pregnant (for plus size women). It is written by an Ob/Gyn that specializes in plus size pregnancies and also high risk. I didn't realize however, until I got the book in the mail that this physician is from MA. I am so interested in going to her and think more and more about it everyday. See, I am one of those people that are so fearful of the doctors and was looking to give it a year before the poking and prodding began and hope that I could stay on my oral meds and attain pregnancy on our own. I am now thinking seeing her and discussing insulin treatment, etc... would be a beneficial thing to do.

Please pray for us that we have a successful cycle this month. Thinking our time to try will be anywhere around the 18th, 19th or 20th. Please send us truck loads of Baby Dust**********

We are going away to a VT Inn November 3rd-5th for our one year wedding anniversary. I can't believe it will be one year already so soon. I have loved this past year soo much and love my hubby, Josh soooo very much. He makes me so incredibly happy and I feel blessed each day to have him in my life. I feel better already just writing this and saying how much my DH means to me and I know that God has a plan for us, he brought us together from states away, our dream of a family will come true some day!

God Bless!