Starting 2nd round of Clomid tomorrow

I can't pray any harder then I already am that this 2nd round of Clomid is the one for us. I worry that the last cycle was just a fluke, that how can it happen again? Then I remind myself that if it worked that time it should work again this time. I am afraid to get my hopes up though, actually they are already up...I am already expecting a positive result from this and will be so sad and hurt otherwise. I can't stop myself from thinking this way.
I didn't think it was possible to want something so badly. When I first started ttc, I knew I wanted a baby, then after a few mos I knew I wanted to be a Mommy, then after a few more mos I wanted so very much to get pregnant and now after the m/c I have never wanted anything so much as to carry a baby to term and give him/her life and be his/her mommy.
I will love my little one like there is no tomorrow!
I am at the best point medically/physically to be pregnant too. I am down 12 pounds since September and my BS has been great, averaging around 108.

I will ask you Lord yet again to make this cycle a success, to grant us our one ultimate wish and help me with this journey of ours. Please Lord allow me to get pregnant this cycle to carry this baby to term and to deliver a wonderful, healthy, amazing child.
It is so hard to see so many women having babies and to struggle with it yourself. I know there are so many women like me struggling and I say GOD bless them. This is such a hard and painful journey.
I continue to pray that things go well with this cycle and around Easter I can test and hopefully be happy about the test results and have a baby for Christmas......Please Lord hear my prayer!
Thank you!!

Poem - To Our Rainbow

Sometimes I feel like I'm trying so hard, I keep taking steps, but fall so far behind, I need you to help me, to guide me along and keep me strong. I feel like I am slipping and need you to be there, but wonder at times why it seems you are so far away, I need you to stay close by. I know you are there and these challenges we face just are part of life's every day rat race. I ask you to take my hand and guide me along, watch over us and keep us safe, you answer my prayers. At times I wonder why? things happen, they happen for reasons sometimes we don't know, but you do and you have your reasons why...ones we may never fully understand. I ask you to please hold on tightly to my hand, I believe and am trying to understand. Please lead us down the pathway to our goals, to our rainbow.

Josh started a new job today

He left this am at 5:30 to start his first day at his new job. He will be working as a pipelayer/Laborer for a construction company for approx. 3 mos then the company he works for/ with finds him a new position based on need/ his skills, etc... I really hope it goes well! He is such a hard worker and dedicated person...Good luck babe!!
UPDATE: He worked here on Thurs, Fri and Mon. Then they didn't have any more work for him. They really need a guy who can run the pipe laying operation and though Josh has done some pipe laying, he isn't experienced enough to run a crew. So back to the drawing board! He is now waiting for the hiring co. to find him something else and he cont. to send out more resumes and fill out apps.
On a better note, we finally got his unemployment check on Sat. (6 wks. worth...YAY!)

Af has arrived

So AF arrived 2-26-08...and I am happy that it brought this past cycle to an end (35 day cycle). As far is it looked it was an anovulatory cycle. So far it doesn't seem like AF is here, no usual cramps just a little ache in lower abdomen and started out with light spotting and now on cd 3 it is a very, very light flow.
I am excited to start my 2nd round of Clomid on Saturday (3-1-08). Oh how I pray we get another BFP from it, but this time a very sticky one. This cycle is my last chance at a 2008 baby. As is looks now I would be testing around Easter or so (w/ ovulation expected around cd 18 like last time) and that would mean an early December...Christmas baby! Oh GOD how I pray that you help this happen for us.

CD 34...still no Ovulation...Grrr!!

Back to TTC

Okay, so we are officially back to ttc. I don't know what the rest of this cycle will be like. If I will ovulate or not? get af or not? Some say Clomid stays in your system and can help with the next cycle. I can't start Clomid again until next cycle so I guess we will just have to try it "naturally" this cycle and see what happens. I just started temping again and dipping a few fm sticks (reading low now). It is cycle day 14 today.
I stopped bleeding around the 29th and am starting to feel better. I do miss feeling pregnant though :o(

I pray so hard with my entire being that we conceive again and soon. I can't imagine trying for as long as we did already. And please, please GOD help us to conceive and stay pregnant next time. We want so badly to have a child.


Thank you!

Something I wrote about our miscarriage

You were our gift...how blessed we were...we waited so long and now you are gone. We wonder why?....we wonder how could this be?...we wanted you so badly...we waited so long. We named you peanut...when you were inside of me...you were going to be...instead you grew wings and you are our angel now. GOD has got you in heaven with him and one day soon we hope to be expecting again...not waiting so long for our baby to be and hold on tightly we pray to thee...oh how blessed we will be when our baby grows fully inside of me and we can hold our little one wrapped up in our arms and forever in our hearts.